Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
