Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize