That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize