SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
