I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
