oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
