I cut my penus on the lid.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Less talking, more tequila
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
