I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
