dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
