Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
