Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
