Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
she told me i tasted like america
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
