Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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