if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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