Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
