It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Never underestimate the power of titties
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
