I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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