Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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