I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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