this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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