theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
