I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Brb crying the tears of my youth
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
