CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
