No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
