Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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