I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
