I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
