fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
