Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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