Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
