Reggie can tackle my bush.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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