eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
