wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
