you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
