she looked like the before picture.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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