They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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