4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
