PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
