Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
