Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
