Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
