He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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