mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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