batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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