the new term for farting is butt boxing.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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