Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
