On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
