just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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