batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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