I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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