hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
