this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
