I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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