I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
