so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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