Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
