But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
