your room smells of hookers.
And success
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
