Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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