Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
My vagina is officially offended.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
