So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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