I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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