Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
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