look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
