Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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