Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
