I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
pop tarts are not kleenex
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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