Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
