my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
It was a blind-side dick pic.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
