She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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