Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize